Let me start by saying, I screw up all the time, I get moody, insecure, depressed, just like everyone else. I get annoyed with people, I judge people, i judge myself, just like everyone else. Of course I try to be a good person, but sometimes I am not as good as I should be, again, just like everyone else.. Blame it on food, the moon, the planets, hormones, other people, or negative energy. But whatever the cause, it doesn’t feel good to be angry or sad. It certainly doesn’t feel good to suffer.
Despite my flaws, or perhaps because of them, I have developed a very close relationship with a Tibetan Buddhist Lama. Geshe Tenzin Tamding. I have written about him before. He is my friend, and my spiritual guide. (His main temple is in Spain, but he has over 25 Temples throughout the world.)
Anyways, through destiny, we met about a year and a half ago. My time with him, was life changing. He is the most loving person I have ever met. He radiates with kindness, wisdom, and love. He honestly glows with bright light.
When I have questions, I ask him.Even across the world, he always knows when I am hitting a low point, because it is during those times when he sends me a message out of the blue, either in an email- like when i got back from the Azores“I am always sending you and Marlin love”, or sometimes when I meditate, I see him or feel him. When I am scared, I recite mantras he taught me. I guess in a way, we have the typical “Master-student” relationship. He has a special relationship with my son too. In fact, my son made him a painting about a year ago, and it is now hanging up in one of Geshe-la’s temples in Spain.
Well, luckily, Geshe-la is back in South Florida for a few days ( he must have known I needed some guidance-ha!). He gave a lecture in Delray Beach about the process of death, bardo, and rebirth. I was nervous about the topic, but it was surprisingly comforting. And something I needed to learn about. Something we all need to learn about and come to terms with.
After the lecture, my son and I had the extra honor of joining a small group of his students, for retreat. We stayed in a beautiful house that belongs to a dear friend of mine, in Wellington Florida. The house is surrounded by woods, and near a beautiful pond. Our time was spent with meditations, chanting, studying, good food, slow walks, a short fast, and deep laughter. We slept on the floor. No internet, no cell phones, no tv, no music. No make up, no jewelry, no perfume. It was calm, quiet, and very peaceful.
The experience was amazing. And it was also overwhelming (a lot to process). I had never done anything like it before. I am still kind of floating in a daze. That could be from our fast. We just finished this morning. I was so hungry last night. 😉
Yesterday, during retreat, Geshe-la and I went for a walk. Just the two of us. We walked slowly. We talked. I told him about my problems, my questions, and my fears. I told him about my Portuguese sweetheart. And I told him how much wine I drank in the Azores. He laughed. He loves me unconditionally. He LOVES unconditionally.
We stood quietly together at a small pond. He gently put his hand on my shoulder and said “You have a very big heart, and you help many people.” and suddenly, I knew (regardless of struggles) that I am on the path that I am meant to travel. It was such a beautiful moment.
In these few days I have learned and grown so much. I know I still have so much to learn. But the seeds have been planted.
I feel honored to have such a wise teacher and friend to help guide me. Thank you so much Geshe-la. And thank you so much to my dear friend Jian.
Now I am going to go eat a huge meal! HA!
Have a beautiful day. Namaste~Tiff
“As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery… we have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness.”~Dalai Lama