Cycles, Waxing and Waning,Love and Loss, Birth and Death

I am always sensitive to the moon. My Portuguese love tells me that near every full moon, he stays a little afraid of me..(and maybe he should 😉 )My being absorbs so much energy. Near the full moon, I feel so sensitive, that it is difficult to try to function in our “normal” world. I need to be in the woods channeling the energy and dancing in trance..Seriously.

The Powerful Supermoon
The Powerful Supermoon

With this moon cycle we all just experienced,  I felt a buzzing of energy days before the moon came to fullness.I,  like many others, felt hypersensitive. Tears, anger, anxiety, bizarre dreams, connections with spirits. It was too much energy.

Every month in my community, on the full moon, people come together and celebrate, with performances, food, laughter, and a dance party. The party is donation based and held as a benefit to help support a project, organization, or a family. I always try to go and support the party, but sometimes the moon is so intense that i need to be alone. Well, this month, for the Supermoon, the performance party was in honor of my family.

 I am  5  1/2 months pregnant and my partner and I are now  forced to live in different countries, because of immigration laws and expenses. It has been a month since we have seen each other, and the truth is, we have no idea when or how we will see each other again. Shattered. Honestly, I have never felt so lost, confused, sad, and stressed. Being forced to separate from love (and especially during pregnancy) is so deeply painful.

Our last day together.. "Better to have loved..
Our last day together.. “Better to have loved..

A month ago,  it was announced that this full moon party would be a benefit for to help raise money for our family, to help us reunite. I instantly began to cry. My community loves us and wants to help. Upon hearing the news, I  felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe things will find a way to work out.  Love, in many forms, is truly how we survive through the deep dark moments in our lives..

With that, the planning began. I worked with a small group of  friends to organize and set up the party. This is an event that draws a large crowd. Organizing a party like this, is no small undertaking. It is all donation and volunteer based. The two weeks before the party we were deep in planning mode. Phone calls, meetings, and rehearsing for performances.  At times the planning was fun and other times it was exhausting. Add the Florida summer heat, pregnancy, and the energy of the moon, and you know emotions were strong.

We spent the entire day Saturday cooking, setting up the space, i was worried about the turn out, the food, the weather. Before the party began, I was already wiped out. But when people started to arrive,  I had a moment to breathe and look at the space we created.

Our Full Moon Performance Party, as the guests began to arrive..
Our Full Moon Performance Party, as the guests began to arrive..

I felt re-energized. Everything looked beautiful. Soon our space was crowded with over 100 people, eating, drinking and laughing. As the moon began to rise, the performances began. There was tap dancing, singing, dance performances, capoeira, poetry, and more. I performed a dance piece  with 5 other women, it was a piece about motherhood, and a woman’s connection with the moon. Later in the evening, I played the ukulele and sang with my dear friend Melody, a song about our friendship, and finding love.. It felt so good to sing, to dance, to share.

Tap dancing to guitar playing -Performance Party-
Tap dancing to guitar playing -Performance Party-

As the moon shone brighter, the dance party began, and people danced until the wee hours of the morning. I looked around and took it in, all these people were gathered together in an act of love, to honor the moon, and help support my family. Once again, there were tears, I felt so blessed.

When I went home and laid in my bed, I looked out of my window, in awe of the pulsing energy radiating from the moon….

I woke up to the news that a beautiful friend (who helped set up the party), had lost her mother that very night due to a sudden heart attack. Deeply saddened, I instinctively touched my pregnant belly and thought of motherhood, our dance, the evening. One minute dancing in laughter and smiles, and the next, experiencing deep loss. I was reminded of the ever flowing cycles that we are a part of. Love and loss. Birth and death.  The waxing and waning of the moon. The cycles of our lives, the seasons, the moon. Constant Transition.

We all need to help each other through darkness and struggle with love, compassion and kindness. Everything Connects in a grand cycle. 

In gratitude and deep respect~Yogini Tiff

 

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8 thoughts on “Cycles, Waxing and Waning,Love and Loss, Birth and Death

  1. Tiffany You are Amazing 🙂 I am proud of you. Very sad about your friends mom. Yes you said it. Life is always changing 🙂 you have cool friends 🙂 I am happy for you and Joao:) Have a cool day 🙂

  2. VIOLETA

    You are such an inspiration. There’s so much light in you. I’m wishing you lots of love. I hope love will conquer and you will be re-united with your love once again. {{{hugsss}}}

    1. Thank you so much Violeta. I am really trying to let go of what i want to happen, and allow what is supposed to happen to unfold. I hope you are well. love to you. xxo

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