Today, my flight to the Azores, came and went. I laid in bed, I cried a little, and I touched my big pregnant belly.
I tried to remind myself “Everything happens for a reason”. But, here I am in Florida. On bed rest, and hoping the best for this little baby and our family. What a crazy year.
Up until 10 days ago, I was moving to the Azores, Portugal, to give birth there. My partner has spent the entire summer building us a little house in a tiny village in Santa Maria. My island paradise.
The Road Trip
With only a few weeks left in the United States, my son and I packed up our tiny car, and headed up to Ann Arbor Michigan, to visit my mom. She had offered to keep my dog for a few months, to help during my last few weeks of pregnancy, and settling in the Azores. The drive to Michigan was long. We stopped and stayed with friends along the way. Ann Arbor is a really cool city, and the Great Smokey Mountains, breathtaking. There were some magical moments on our trip. We made it to Michigan and back in 10 days. We were on a mission. Azores!
When we made it back to South Florida, I knew our time was limited. There was so much to do to get ready to leave the country!!! I taught yoga in the morning, and then went straight to the midwife to get my medical records. My midwife joked with me about how she wanted to move to the Azores too..She laughed as she measured my fundal height. She stopped laughing and made a serious face. She paused and then she measured again. She said,”Well, maybe the baby is just curled up or lying transverse, but your uterus is measuring about 5-6 centimeters smaller than it should. I want to send you for a growth scan”. I was scared. She told me not to worry, this was just as a precaution.
To Bed Rest
The next day, I went for my growth scan, and I found out some frightening news. The baby has severe asymmetrical IUGR. Her head is normal size, but her abdomen is extremely small. They think this is due to placenta insufficiency. I was told it was very severe, and because of this, I was put on bed rest, and assigned to a “high risk” Dr. The Dr apologized and said I would be unable to fly. He said I would need to be monitored very closely.. I could not contain my tears.
I went back to my friend’s house, and laid in bed. I was completely exhausted and scared. Scared for my baby, and scared for my future. I cried for hours.
Close friends who heard the news came by with flowers, care packages, songs, nail polish, and food. I have been getting massages, and some real pampering.. My sister drove all the way here to pick up my son for a few weeks to help. And amazingly, my good friend offered her home for as long as we need.. And she wrote a beautiful song for the baby. My sweetheart, even from 3,000 miles away, has been beyond supportive. Love is what helps us heal. I am truly grateful.
The news has settled in, and the flight has come and gone. And here i am in Florida, laying on my left side, and praying for my little baby.
I surrender and flow. ~Yogini Tiff