Catching My Breath

When I was about 10 years old, my aunt, uncle and three cousins came and stayed with us in the tiny house I grew up in, in Olympia Washington. The 6 of us kids all slept together on the living room floor, there were ten of us in total, in a two bedroom house.

My youngest cousin had severe asthma, It was the first time, I had ever been around anyone with asthma. As a kid, i remember thinking it was very annoying. My cousin wasnt allowed to run around with us, My aunt was always going on and on, “You are wheezing. ” “Slow down, your asthma!” “Dont run!!” You need your inhaler!” ” It is time for your nebulizer.”

The machine Two times a day, my cousin had to sit at the kitchen table hooked up to what i thought was the weirdest machine in the world. The nebulizer. He sounded slightly like Darth Vader, and during treatment, although curious, I was more afraid and I stayed away.

A few months ago, I experienced my first asthma attack. I am 37. I don’t smoke (anything), I do yoga everyday, I juice, I eat healthy, I take herbs and vitamins :). And one night, I woke up, completely unable to breathe. I mean, seriously, would have died had we not rushed to the hospital. I wasnt sick, I had no congestion, no fever, but no oxygen.  At the hospital, they checked my oxygen levels, and right away, I was hooked up to the machine. The fear and anxiety I felt was intense, gasping for air, thinking of my two kids, I seriously thought I could die.

I stayed in the hospital until morning. I did three treatments, and was prescribed a strong medicine that is illegal in the United States. When I was released from the hospital, I was instructed to come back three times a day for treatment. They wanted to monitor me closely. I asked the Dr. why I couldn’t breathe, and she responded, “You have severe asthma.”

At the Hospital, in Easy Pose, Trying to Breathe
At the Hospital, in Easy Pose, Trying to Breathe

I responded,  “WHAT!! How?”  The nurse who was in the room said, “It is actually quite common for people to develop asthma here, it is the climate, the humidity, the mold.”

So, anyways, For the last few months, I have been dealing with asthma. It is scary. As a yoga teacher, I am well aware of the importance and the magic of the breath.  I used to take breathing for granted, now it is with deep gratitude.

My instincts, kept telling me it was some sort of mold in our house that was triggering my attacks. We tried to look for another house to rent. Everything was too expensive. I stopped sleeping in the bedroom, and started sleeping in the living room, right next to the window, which i kept open, even when it was freezing.

Most physical illnesses, ailments, and diseases have an emotional connection too. From Louise Hay,” Asthma is connected to  Smother love. Inability to breathe for one’s self. Feeling stifled. Suppressed crying.”

A couple of days ago, I had another severe asthma attack. Frustrated and scared, I called out to my spirit guides to help me.. And by an act of serendipity or magic, when we were at the airport with my son, we ran into my sweethearts cousins. They told us they had a house for rent, if we knew anyone looking. We told them we were interested, and went to check it out. They offered us the house at a great discount, and on the full moon, we moved in. The house is very nice. And I already feel an improvement with my breathing.

From the living room, we see the mountains, from the kitchen we see the ocean. This house is in the country. Our neighbors are sheep, goats, cows, horses, chickens, pigs, and ducks.

We still are planning on moving back to the USA at the end of summer,but this is a beautiful place, I love it. The wind is howling, the windows are open, and I am grateful to breathe fresh air.



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